Zombie Fighter Faces the Undead at Zombie Fest

Pittsburgh, PA, September 28, 2008 --(PR.com)-- Thirty years ago, Monroeville Mall was overrun by zombies. Only two humans survived the ordeal – and one of them is returning to the site of Dawn of the Dead next month.

The Ten Best Zombie Media to Feed Your Brain

By Great White Snark | September 18, 2008

I only recently realized that I’ve gone gah-gah for the zombie genre. It kind of snuck up on me.
As zombies are prone to do.

VIDEO GAME: Dead Rising
Resident Evil has nothing on Dead Rising. And it never will, at least not until you can smash zombies with cash registers, park benches, dumbbells, hockey sticks, 50 caliber machine guns, cleavers, bowling balls, potted plants, and intestine-scattering power-punches.




It’s not wise to antagonize me while I’m wielding an electric guitar, dead man.







COMIC BOOK: The Walking Dead
Writer Robert Kirkland knows what Joss Whedon figured out a long time ago… the most fantastically absurd plot (a high school Valley girl is blessed with super-powers to save the world from vampires?) is rendered classic by compelling storytelling and characterization.
And so we have The Walking Dead, one of the three comic book titles I absolutely can’t forgo reading every month. (Another one is Kirkland’s Invincible.) Kirkland’s Battle Pope? Not so much. A bit heavy on the absurd plot, not enough of the… everything else.

NOVEL: World War Z
You know all those books and documentaries that feature interviews with World War II veterans, recounting their memories of the war? Yeah, World War Z is that… journalistic “interviews” with key players and survivors of the global Zombie War, set in the near future and incorporating contemporary socio-political issues in a mostly-serious, somewhat-tongue-in-cheek tone.
The only thing I have against the premise and execution of this book is that I didn’t think of it first.

MOVIE, HORROR: 28 Days Later
Ok, so don’t eat my brains for this, but the best scary zombie movie isn’t one by George Romero. 28 Days Later gets the nod because… what’s scarier than a hungry, rabid zombie? A hungry, rabid zombie with glowing, red eyes that can run faster than you can.
Plus, everything’s scarier in England. Just look at Posh Spice. For some reason, her anorexia is much less upsetting now that she lives here in the States. (Look at me, with my pop culture references.)

MOVIE, COMEDY: Shaun of the Dead
Don’t “Well, duh,” me. There’s actually another contender besides Shaun of the Dead. Treat yourself to Fido when it comes out on DVD.

TV SHOW: Pushing Daisies
Saying that Pushing Daisies is about zombies is like saying Lost is about tropical island vacation spots. It’s true in definition, but not in spirit. Sure, there are people brought back from the dead, but generally the undead are pretty agreeable, and at no point do they attempt or want to eat brains. In fact, the show is so cutesy and cuddly, it might make an actual zombie curdle up and die. Again.
Sadly, though, there are no other contenders for the title of Best Zombie TV Show since CBS dumped Babylon Fields from its Fall premiere schedule.

PORNOGRAPHY: Re-Penetrator
Re-Penetrator (NSFW) is a, um, re-imagining of the 1980s horror flick, Re-Animator. This XXX feature was introduced on BurningAngel.com, which seems to feature a lot of goth-looking girls in its pornos… which I guess is considered pretty avant-garde for the creative geniuses of the porn world.
Whatever. I haven’t even seen this movie. (Not that a flick about the 20-years-dead body of a stripper being reanimated by a vaginally-injected serum doesn’t sound fascinating.) It wins the title based on being the only entry… after an extensive review of the first two Google results for a search on “zombie porn”.

SONG: Rob Zombie’s More Human Than Human
Tell me that you don’t feel like putting baseball bat to zombie skull when you hear this song.
Or, at least, shaking your tiny, little fist defiantly at a zombie from behind safety glass and a barricaded door.



ANIMATION: Xombie
What, you thought I was going to suggest Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island? Maybe the zombies aren’t the only ones that need a good bludgeoning.
Check out the shovel-wielding zombie vigilante of Xombie.

MUSIC VIDEO: Michael Jackson’s Thriller
Also… worst zombie music video ever? Michael Jackson’s Thriller.
MJ wasn’t fully convincing as a reanimated corpse until the 1990s.

Read more great articles by the Great White Snark at: www.greatwhitesnark.com

10 Worst Things To Do During a Zombie Outbreak

A wave of Zombie survival manuals have popped up recently, this one included, telling people what they should do during an outbreak of zombies. Thing is, nobody’s talking about what people shouldn’t do during a zombie outbreak.
Fortunately for you, our Zombiephile has scoured popular zombie movies and has isolated the Ten WORST Things to Do During a Zombie Outbreak. Sit back, enjoy, and take notes, Zombiephiles.

10) Don’t set zombies on fire. Burning zombies smell terrible.

We’re not sure why you see it in every zombie movie, but it stands to reason that the only thing worse than a zombie is a flaming zombie. Remember, it can take a long time for a zombie to burn to death - more than ten minutes, in some recorded cases. Do you really want a burning zombie lighting you and your friends on fire? Play it safe - chances are good that there won’t be any fire-fighting infrastructure during a zombie outbreak if things get out of hand.

9) Don’t get sentimental. Zombies won’t.

Sure, it’s your house. Sure, they were your family and friends. But now it’s a zombie nest, and they’re zombies. Stick around, and your best chance is to become zombie food - worst case, you’ll end up a zombie like the rest. Zombies don’t have any feelings - neither should you.


8) Don’t forget to shut the door behind you. Zombies often come over without calling first.

Were you born in a barn? Zombies might not be the brightest, but they know an open door when they see one. Keep your suburban zombie fortress secure by remembering to close and lock the door behind you. And don’t slam it either! Zombies hate that.


7) Don’t keep zombies in the basement. Even if they are your zombie family.

Devotion to family and friends is touching. However, you don’t want them to be touching you, after they’re dead. Do yourself a favor and make sure you put zombie friends and family down properly. Remember, there is no zombie cure, and keeping them around only prolongs their suffering and increases the risk for everyone. Besides, do you really want to get eaten by your buddies?


6) Don’t try to reunite with friends / family over long distances.

Seems like a great idea, doesn’t it? That’s what everyone thinks. Look, do the math. If you leave your house at noon, heading toward your mum’s, traveling 3 km per hour, and a crowd of zombies leaves the general vicinity of your mum’s at the same time, heading toward you at 1 km per hour, what time will you get eaten by zombies? Skip the math and consult rule #9.


5) Don’t go down. Zombies can go down too.

Zombies can’t climb. You can. In light of this, why would you ever choose to go down, rather than up? Stay out of basements, gullies, sewers, and anyplace else that zombies might unwittingly wander / fall into and be unable to get out of. Remember, it’s unlikely that a human would be in a sewer, but zombies don’t care a whit about the smell.


4) Don’t broadcast your presence. Zombies may be listening.

Zombies that still retain their ears have been statistically shown to have above-average recognition of bassline frequencies. If you absolutely must blast music while killing zombies, do it on your Ipod, and you might want to consider delaying that block party until after the zombie outbreak blows over. During a zombie outbreak, remember to turn your cell phone to vibrate - it’s only polite.


3) Don’t stand in front of the window. That’s just foolish.

You’d think this one didn’t require stating, but apparently it does. Windows are an aesthetic defense against the environment, not protection against zombies and the living dead. Once you find your fortress, barricade the windows as quickly as possible and stay the hell away from them. Whatever you do, don’t deliver speeches with your back to them.


2) Don’t get too creative with zombie defense.

Sure, chainsaw slits in your van seemed like a good idea at the time, before you filled your car with fumes and exhaust, passed out at the wheel and got yourself sawed in half. The temptation to get very creative with zombie dispatching can seem almost unbearable at times, but when it comes to killing zombies, that old adage applies: Keep it simple, stupid!


1) Don’t be “that one asshole,” in your group.

Textual analysis of zombie movies has proven that “that one asshole,” a character ubiquitous in zombie and survival horror movies, only stands a 4.32% chance of surviving until the end of the movie.

Later studies have challenged that figure, citing several movies in which “that one asshole” was one-upped by “the other, bigger asshole,” who then assumed “that one asshole” status.

What do these figures mean? Being nice matters. To dramatically increase your chances of survival, make sure you always have “that one asshole” traveling in your party with you, otherwise you might end up playing the role of “that weak douchebag,” a similarly ill-fated character.

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you believe you are already “that one asshole,” you should immediately leave your group. You might be able to pass as “that Kevin Costner anti-hero” if you’re traveling solo.


For more great Zombie articles and reviews, go to: www.zombiephiles.com